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History Twins, will you mayor-y me?

25 Oct

We are officially over the hill with The Making of Modern Atlanta. The second installment aired in 1993, two years after the first four episodes. The History Twins were still high off their regional Emmy nomination for “How We Played The Game” and ready to rock the PBA audience demanding more, more, more History Twins! This reinforced confidence in their game led to a few new snazzy enhancements on the series, like wackier introductions to each episode, Dr. White accenting his safari jackets with a little color base, and a new design to the titles and whatever it’s called that tells you the name of the person talking on the screen.
Our fifth episode of TMOMA starts at City Hall, with the words we all dream of hearing spoken to us one day…

“Mr. Mayor, Professors Crimmins and White are here to see you.”“Who?” Continue reading

City run-off mayhem!

1 Dec

Hey y’all! Time for one of Pecanne Log’s most exciting features, our Run-Off Election Candidate Death Match. These aren’t endorsements per se, because the criteria used to determine a winner in each of the races below isn’t necessarily what we would use when entering the voting booth (which we did ages ago, because we thought it would be faster to vote early but did not take into account that a van full of senior citizens in velour track suits would arrive at the Fulton County government center minutes before us, on our pathetic one-hour lunch break). But if the following helps you decide, then we are so glad we have helped. Don’t forget to vote today, because no one ever remembers – and if enough of you write in Sid Mashburn for city council president, he might actually win!

Let’s start with the most important race – the one the New York Times cares about, solely because a black person AND a white person are running, in the South.


Not only were both candidates pretty humdrum, they both had terrible campaign logos. Mary Norwood’s was completely uninspired. Did she even try to have an interesting, eye-catching logo? Does she have any intellectual curiosity that would lead her to at some point in the past two years to consider a semi-engaging visual design for her omnipresent candidacy? How could a person so ambitious for so long not care to strive for anything better than Times New Roman? No wonder the Mohammed K. Reed campaign stole all her yard signs. They are offensive to any Atlanta citizen who leaves the house in anything more that sweatpants. Mary Norwood’s logo is the elastic waistband of yard signs. Continue reading

Alex Wan and the real issues

5 Nov

So Alex Wan and…one of those white straight people…are in a runoff in which none of you will remember to vote. We’ve discussed Alex Wan’s good looks here before, but let’s get the superficial stuff out of the way for good and talk from now on about what’s really on the mind of us Disty Sixers when we think about the next person to carry our torch in City Hall. This question was posed to me today and it totally caught me off guard in its frankness and urgency: Continue reading

Unfair use

26 Oct

We don’t know if we feel more like Shepard Fairey or AP photographer Mannie Garcia, but we definitely feel like our iconic political design was ripped off! Look at what the Farokhi campaign is up to:Picture 1

We came up with the idea to make a jack-o-lantern-embellished Blingee of Amir Farokhi’s headshot! It was us!

Previously: Bad call, Mr. Wheatley!

Bad call, Mr. Wheatley!

15 Oct

510402709_423891Well, the dust has settled on Creative Loafing‘s endorsements, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still hurt by one in particular, and all the keying in the world of Thomas Wheatley’s previously-owned 2008 Honda Accord hasn’t made that hurt go away. Who does Thomas Wheatley think he is, anyway?! He doesn’t even live in Atlanta; did you know that? Yeah, he’s a suburbanite, yet he’s allowed to go on writing for Creative Loafing Atlanta! And then has the audacity to tell us who to vote for! WHY DON’T YOU GO  WRITE FOR DECATUR METRO INSTEAD SINCE YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH, THOMAS WHEATLEY!!

And why does everyone call him “young Mr. Wheatley”? Thomas Wheatley was born in 1962, people! That’s not young at all!

Previously: Amore for Amir

Amore for Amir

5 Oct

Which men’s hair grooming product do you think Amir Farokhi uses?
170-9326Is that the sheen of Brylcreem or does he perhaps use a hair tonic? Whatever it is, it’s helped him achieve perfect Kennedy hair, something this country needs right now more than ever. Continue reading

We are one degree closer to Chuck Bass

17 Apr

gossip-girl-chuck-shark_lRemember when Michelle Trachtenberg, aka Georgina Sparks, was in town for the W Hotel opening and she also hit up the Drunken Unicorn and it blew everyone‘s mind?

Now we can all be validated again like we always are in Atlanta whenever “we” have some slight brush with celebrity, because our very own Newt Gingrich will be inexplicably sharing a table with Gossip Girl‘s Ed Westwick and the White House Correspondents Dinner. Maybe now that Westwick is growing his own Republican-esque jowls Newt can recruit him to the cause.

Previously: OMG!!!! Gossip Girl and the Gay South!!!!

Thomas Wheatley is famous

13 Mar

2998561532_a6fabb431c_oWe haven’t been too hot on the Wheatdawg trail lately, but that ends TODAY when Thomas made national news just for doing his job, which is 1) playing on Facebook all day and 2) identifying when Georgia politicians are being racist. Read about his triumphs on celebrity news blog Wonkette or directly on the Fresh Loaf post he wrote on the matter, and celebrate by submitting his photo to Access Atlanta, which is collecting photos of redheads right now.

Previously: Coppertop News Network

What is wrong with the AJC?

21 Jan

No, seriously…what is wrong with them? I really want someone to explain it to me.

(via Wonkette)
If you want a newspaper with our ACTUAL CURRENT president on the front page, you will just have to buy one of these stupid-ass t-shirts, available in 3XL.

It’s a motherf***ing runoff!

9 Nov

In case you haven’t heard, all eyes will be on our state come December 2 for the U.S. Senate runoff between incumbent Saxby Chambliss (R) and Jim Martin (D). The problem is, I don’t think a lot of Georgians realize this in the flush of President-Elect Obama enthusiasm. Early on in CNN’s election coverage last Tuesday they called the election for Chambliss with very few precincts reporting – and none from metro counties or early voting. It wasn’t until the next morning that it became apparent Chambliss wasn’t going to get the requisite 50+% to secure the seat.

Jim Powell (D) and Lauren McDonald (R) are also in the runoff for Public Service Commission.

There be early and advance voting for the runoff, starting on November 17. (Thanks to Caddy for the tip.) However, there won’t be long lines so don’t worry about setting aside 7-1/2 hours that Tuesday to stand around.

You can vote absentee if you think there might be a 1% chance you won’t be able to make it to the polls. Go to the Secretary of State website and print out an application for an absentee ballot. I know, since you are reading this blog you probably don’t have a printer OR a postage stamp. Well, you have just over a week to acquire both because you must submit this application no later than November 19 to get an absentee ballot.

Maybe if we are lucky, a bunch of Georgia celebrities like NeNe and Richard Blais and Mychael Knight (I am only naming people from Bravo shows, but that’s all I know) will band together to create a series of overly-serious get-out-the-vote PSAs.

After you cast your vote

4 Nov

We all know about the free Starbucks coffee, Ben & Jerry’s, and Krispy Kreme today with your “Georgia Voter” sticker. After standing in line for 4 hours to vote, you can queue up for another 45 minutes at each chain to get the temporary sugar/caffeine high to coast through the next long line. Now half of America will contract diabetes on Election Day, so the new president better have some good ideas for heath care.

The other good news is that El Bar is also hopping on the voter giveaway bandwagon and giving away free shots tonight! (This is what you really need on any election night. I wish someone had given me a free shot during the 2006 midterm election returns.) And when I was at Ria’s Bluebird on Friday they were offering free coffee for early voters, so I bet that offer still stands today for official Election Day voters. 

Creative Loafing has an extensive list of election parties if you want to be in the company of others while staring at a screen full of digits, percentages, and two-tone maps all night. (It’s probably best not to be alone while watching cable news coverage of this event.) They left out the party at El Bar on Ponce that I just mentioned and Atlanta Drinking Liberally‘s thing at Thinking Man Tavern in Decatur.

I would like to tell you who/what I think you should vote for because I am bossy, but like Sara I have some professional anxieties. AJC’s voter’s guide is very good – they’ll tell you what to expect on your respective county’s ballot. Creative Loafing’s cheat sheet features their endorsements so when you go into the booth you can vote exactly as Thomas Wheatley would have you do. 

The one thing I will come out and say is that I hate Amendment 3. Its phrasing on the ballot is impossible to really understand so you probably won’t know what it is you’re voting for. Read here and here why you should vote NO on Infrastructure Development Districts (IDDs, or “private cities”). To be fair so that you can see the other side of the argument, I’ll also give you a link to the Association of County Commissioners of Georgia’s propaganda video that will make you think TADs and IDDs are the answers to every single one of every municipality’s problems.

The Georgia Public Broadcasting election blog breaks down each amendment you’ll see on the ballot. All Georgians are voting on these, so try to think of the broader, statewide implications of these constitutional amendments instead of how you think they’ll affect Atlanta or the *cough*Beltline*cough*. The language of these things is always tricky. I’m sure the TAD proponents are unhappy with the way Amendment 2 is described, while IDD fans have a much easier time.

These 7th graders can’t even vote and they know what’s up

24 Oct

Whoa, things are getting rough. A colleague who parked in Inman Effing Park reports that someone ripped the Obama sticker right off of her treasured liberal Subaru! Be careful out there and guard your bumpers!

If you’re still undecided (what is wrong with you?), seventh graders from the Ron Clark Academy sang a remake of TI’s “Whatever You Like” at the Coca-Cola Leadership Summit, and they can help you out. Instead of highlighting the benefits of a sugar daddy, the song is rechristened into a lively debate over the presidential candidates.

Click through to the YouTube page if you need the lyrics, because they’re really cute (e.g. “Stick with McCain you’re gonna have some drama”). The most entertaining part is when Ron Clark gets really into hating on the Obama side. (via Videogum)

Previously: Look at this wonderful lady

Look at this wonderful lady

19 Oct

Are you guys watching this heartwarming thing on CNN about Ann Nixon Cooper, the 106-year-old Obama supporter?

Just like a granny, she makes a face when Don Lemon introduces himself and says, “Lemon. That’s an odd name.” Mrs. Cooper, who can remember the pre-Voting Rights Act days in the south, swears not to die until she can see a black president. Chainsaw Shirley makes a special appearance to escort Ms. Cooper to the polls to vote early.

Previously: Editorial: Our official endorsement for president

Critical darlings

24 Sep

Thanks to everyone who voted for us in Creative Loafing’s annual “Best of Atlanta” survey. Just kidding, no one voted for us. They all voted for the Blissful Glutton who is awesome, and this is why we got this “Critics’ Pick” designation. Who needs democracy, anyway?

Also, I should clarify that the reason our names show up in lowercase under the posts is because we are at the mercy of this elementary school WordPress template, and not because we think we are the next bell hooks. Hypothetically, if someone had offered to make us a new blog design two whole months ago, even if s/he had hypothetically been drinking at the time of the offer, any time would be a hypothetically good time to hypothetically get that up and running.

Here is a photo of us celebrating our achievement which we rightfully earned.

Vote Early and Vote Often

24 Sep

All politics aside, I suggest that you guys consider voting early this year. I live in Dekalb County and already got a flyer in the mail advising that I vote early due to expected high volumes of voters on November 4 at my polling location. Also, I’m really psyched about voting this year, so I’m definitely ready to get it done. A friend forwarded this handy dandy table of where and when you can vote in metro Atlanta. And please remember, cute hair and glasses and good taste in shoes does not qualify a person for public office. That is all I will say on that subject. Proceed to see where you can go ahead and vote.

Continue reading

Boys-4-Obama Strip-a-thon

10 Sep

Oh look, Mary’s is hosting an Obama pep rally next Friday, September 19. Since the official Obama campaign started pulling ads and staff out of Georgia, it is now solely up to Mary’s Boys-4-Obama to keep Hope and Change alive in our state.

I am telling you so far in advance so you can get your easily-removable patriotic costume ready for the strip-a-thon! (You are only eligible if you are a boy and 4 Obama, obviously.) This event might be a good opportunity for those of you assholes who STILL haven’t registered to vote* in Atlanta to do so.

And since First Lady is the campiest job in America held by a straight person, Mary’s is having you dress up as your favorite First Lady (or Head of State; boring). When I was trying to think of my favorite First Lady, I realized I LOVE THEM ALL! I’m guessing there will be a lot of Betty Fords and Jackie Kennedys, but I hope some people will be creative and go old school as Dolley Madison and Grace Coolidge. Also, Rosalynn Carter, duh, because she hangs out in Atlanta and is still a fox. Or Nancy Reagan and her astrologist. Or Little Edie Beale, who was not a First Lady but close enough.

*Alternatively, you can download a voter registration application on the Secretary of State’s website and mail it in. SO EASY.

If you look like Sarah Palin, YOU COULD BE A STAR!

9 Sep

Time to brush off the ol’ headshot and master the VPILF ‘do shake-out:

(via Videogum)

Previously: So I heard that unemployment is B-A-D in Atlanta

This July 15, YOU come first!

7 Jul

You guys! We finally got a man with the people in his plan! A candidate who also holds a doctorate in Psyconeurokinesthetics, a field which he also invented!

A man with the powers to resurrect Roger Troutman of Zapp to sing, “Baby, baby, baby, baby,” in his outrageously catchy campaign song. “The People Come First” may be this primary season’s “Vote 4 Miss Angela.” Crank your speakers!

(via you know who)

Working hard to dispell the myths that MARTA is unsafe

3 Apr

Just as Thomas Whea- I mean, Creative Loafing’s Golden Sleaze awards are announced, with NASCAR-sideburned Glenn Richardson taking the top prize, the Georgia Senate decides to pass legislation that allows Georgians with concealed weapon permits to carry guns on public transportation and in restaurants. This bill has actually been watered down from the House original, which also included churches, sporting events, and political rallies as okay for concealed firearms.

Two of our senators from Atlanta, Nan Orrock and Vincent Fort, tried to thwart the measure or add amendments promoting safety, but to no avail; the legislation goes to the House next which is even more generous in their interpretation of the 2nd amendment.

Celebrity sighting

25 Feb

Sunday, 3:30 PM, Lenox Mall:

Rep. John Barrow (Blue Dog Democrat, superdelegate, gerrymandering almost-victim) and a lady friend admiring copper pots and silicone measuring cups at Williams-Sonoma.

(I didn’t have time to stalk them like I maybe wanted to because I was in possession of a laptop that suddenly kept doing the blinking-folder-with-the-question-mark and I had to find out what that means. It means my hard drive died!)

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